I somehow find this obsession with success and fame a concerted attack on mental health. I have seen a lot of people losing themselves in their lust for acceptance and adulation. From my personal experience I can say that the journey is way more exciting and rewarding than the so called destination. In fact the destination may be just a point that you shall touch and get back to something else.
I find so many youngsters eager to climb the stairs of stardom at a hurricane speed. If you tell them that they need to educate themselves about the craft, then they find it to be a needless criticism. In my opinion self education is the most rewarding aspect of one's life. And it has to be a selfless exercise. The mere fact that you get mentally stimulated by learning something new makes you feel good from within. As Socrates has rightly said, "Know thyself". When you endeavour to know yourself then the futility of this life becomes easy to understand and bear.
During lockdown, my obsession with Urdu poetry reached its peak. I started listening to poets, academic sessions on various poets, their life stories, mushairas etc. In fact I listened to some of the sessions multiple times. Kuch to itne sune ki hifz ho gaye. Zindagi ke adaab, lafzon ka wazan, unka ahsas, connotative meaning.... Uff! What a delightful experience it continues to be. For example, currently I am listening to anything and everything on Dr Arfa Syeda that's available on YouTube. Such a classy, objective, well read, rational and bold lady who continues to emit hope even though she understands the relevance of hopelessness. I also read scholarly books on Urdu literature daily. I misplaced a book on Ghalib by Gopi Chand Narang in Dubai. I had half read it. When I came back to Mumbai, I ordered it again on Amazon and not only finished it, I ended up re reading it. The more you read about Ghalib, the more you want to know. Currently I am reading another book on Ghalib by Dr Meher Farouqi. And what a treat it is.
I have been writing poetry in Urdu for some time now and I am very serious about it. It's a delightful experience. There are days when I am unable to sleep at night and when I write a couplet or a nazm, it satiates me and I go to sleep peacefully. Now I am not looking for validation from anyone. I know I am compared with my illustrious father and it's inevitable. The reason why I delayed writing in Urdu is because of this fear and if I am writing in Urdu consistently now then I know what I am doing, work very hard and am confident that there's something new that I am adding to the rich heritage of Urdu poetry. There's no manzil that I am aiming for. I am just enjoying the journey of my pursuit for educating myself on Urdu poetry and literature. The act of assimilating the thought process of genius minds is richly rewarding.
I recently told someone that there can be interviewers who can do better interviews than me, but one thing I know it for sure, "mere jaisa interview koi nahin kar sakta". I simply enjoy the process of conversing with people, I do my research and I make sure that there is something unexpected in my interviews that is cherished by people. There is no lust for fame or acceptance. I am just doing what I love.
During my recent trip to Kashmir, from the air hostess in Mumbai srinagar flight, to guests at the houseboat where we stayed, or the hotel manager in pahalgam or fans in betaab valley or aaru valley, or the guy who checked us in at srinagar airport, I was recognised and appreciated for my work. I received a DM on instagram from a boy who saw me at breakfast in The Chinar, Pahalgam. He didn't come and say hello as he felt shy. I'd say to anyone who is reading this, that if you see me anywhere and want to say hello, please don't hesitate. I love meeting people who appreciate my work. But I'd like to reiterate that I aim to excel because I love enjoying the journey. I give it my all without overdoing. I don't aim for overt controversial content or misleading headlines for views. Second aana manzoor hai, kisi ko dhokha nahin dena chahta to come first.
To cut the long story short, aim to enjoy the journey, work very hard, educate yourself selflessly and without saying ki "is se mujhe kya faayda hoga". Knowledge se faayda hi hoga. Kab, Kahan kaise... You'd experience it yourself.
Enjoy your life, spread happiness and it'd be great if you could end up being inspirational.
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